Looking for Love? Try the mirror

Okay I know I’ve posted it before (I wrote it in 2010) but I’m going to continue posting it until we start living it:-)

We often seek the validation and love of others before we are able to give it to ourselves. If you‘re looking for love why not give yourself love first?

I‘ve experienced a lot in my relatively short time on the planet; my divorce probably being the most traumatic event of my life to date. That said the experience has also been my greatest blessing and a catalyst to the greatest change in my life.

Almost 2 years down the line I find myself, as many of my girlfriends, on the dating scene. For me being single has been a period of growth and personal development and possibly a most valuable investment of time and energy. Many people I meet, however, find being single so terrifying that they avoid it all costs. This typically results in people being in the wrong relationships but too scared to leave.

Before we continue let me say I do not believe that anyone is inherently right or wrong. Each and every relationship is unique due to the fact that no one relationship in the world will have the same type of connection as another. It‘s a case of “the mix” and whether the mix is right for both parties. Hence the fact it‘s about the relationship being right or wrong and not about the parties to the relationship, being right or wrong as people.

I know a lady who is gorgeous, intelligent, has a great career and an amazing body. There‘s just one problem, she‘s so intent on finding a partner that she‘s forgotten to live. As result she “wastes time” with partners who mess her around. Is this wrong? Well ultimately on a soul level this is an experience she obviously needs to have and is a result of her conditioning but on a physical level it could well be avoided. Ironically it‘s her fear of being alone that is causing her to make choices which ultimately render her lonely within her relationships.

I know another lady who admits to not being happy in her relationship but is too fearful of being alone that she can‘t bear to leave. She too has many of the wondrous attributes of a goddess and yet is lacking the most important one; self esteem.

Both of these women are desperately seeking happiness and yet the very thing they seek to find, they actively avoid. (Take a moment to ponder that one). For some reason in our Western society we‘ve become accustomed to the notion of another “completing us”. Why? Romantic relationships are there to uplift us and are a means of connecting on a unique level to another person but we cannot be made whole by another. It‘s a strange case of two “wholes” make a union, not two halves make a whole.

The universe works in peculiar ways; you have to let go of what you want in order to receive it. In the case of developing romantic relationships, it‘s vital to develop a love and appreciation (and even just an understanding) of oneself before launching into a union with another.

So how do you develop a love and appreciation of yourself? It‘s quite simply about getting to know you. How about committing to an evening with yourself? I know it sounds crazy but trust me on this one. Make your favourite supper or just sit on your balcony and watch the sun set or even run yourself a warm bubble bath.

Reflect on the person that you are. What activities do you love doing? Where are your favourite places to go? What have you been dreaming about doing but haven‘t done because you feel guilty or don‘t have the time? What do you like about yourself? What would you like to work on in yourself? (Note; not have to but like to) At the end of your ‘date‘ march on over to a mirror and find the best physical feature of yourself. I promise I haven‘t lost the plot. Do NOT leave that mirror until you find some feature you love about yourself.

And then, I hear you ask? Well go out and live and do what you love! Spend time with friends, try something new, volunteer for a good cause, and some spend time alone!

People are attracted to people who are (genuinely) love themselves, others and life.

Don‘t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. ~Harold Whitman

So make a date with yourself without delay and don‘t forget to…
Stay connected,
Love

Lisa

3 months ago  /  1 note

Communications 101 - Convergence translated

Life used to be simple for brands. They had a budget and chose to spend it either on above-the-line or below-the-line and even within those categories there were limited options. Nowadays CONVERGENCE is the in-word. What exactly does that mean?

Well firstly it means that most promotional campaigns will be integrated and secondly it means that any medium stands as media. Packaging, partners packaging, rubbish, a website, social media, a car, a billboard, a soap opera, a magazine, TV and even the receptionist are all mediums.

Feeling overwhelmed? Don’t be. With the influx of options come a range of opportunities. Without the intention of wanting to complicate matters further I have but two (for the price of none!) points when evaluating mediums;

• Is it where your competitors are not? If you’re advertising a new brand of tea which includes lavender why not advertise the product in nurseries or coffee shops (they’re just as much mediums as your local radio station and probably a whole lot cheaper)? It’s somewhere where your competitors are not. Sure still keep the in-store promotion but strengthen it through capitalising on other less obvious opportunities.
• Does it still reach your target market and tie into the brand? Why would you use a billboard if you’re a regional attorney? It sounds obvious but I saw a billboard for some local attorney’s the other day. I’m considering giving them a call and saying I’ll double their turnover and all they need to give me is the income they’re spending on the billboard each month.

So the bottom line (and we’d all like a little piece of that) is take convergence seriously. Think about your communications not as one dimensional but as a mix of factors.

1 year ago  /  0 notes

The 10 Questions of Marketing

As an avid reader, I recently came across a phenomenal book called The 10 Questions. Written by psychologist and life-coach Debbie Ford, the book invites readers to evaluate their life choices on the basis of 10 essential questions. The book added much value to my personal decision-making process and with my marketer’s cap on, I began to analyse the questions from a marketing point of view.

Her philosophy is very simply that one changes one’s life through each and every decision one makes. These decisions become the basis for one’s life situation. I couldn’t agree more. Many of us “marketers” spend our days chasing deadlines, conceptualising campaigns (usually whilst cooking dinner) and writing reports to justify the masses we spend. To what end I ask?

Obsessive compulsive by nature, I often challenge myself, trying to come up with more practical, efficient and effective ways of achieving my goals. This usually happens between 4am and 4.30am while I am meant to be meditating. On one such day I began to consider if asking the 10 questions in my daily marketing activities would have an impact on both my ever-constant mission to deliver marketing results to stakeholders and my career. I decided to rewrite the questions and stick them up on my wall at the office and take a month to measure the results.

1. Will this choice propel me towards an inspiring future or will it keep me stuck in the past? ie Am I doing this because it’s the way we’ve always done it or am I doing it out of a need to create a positive future for the brand?

2. Will this choice bring me long-term fulfilment or short-term gratification? ie Is this for the long term development of the brand or for short term impact such as to increase sales?

3. Am I standing in my power or am I trying to please another? Am I doing this to please my boss or because I think it’s the right thing for the brand?

4. Am I looking for what’s right or am I looking for what’s wrong? ie Am I looking for what results were gained or how it went wrong?

5. Will this choice add to my life force or will it rob me of my energy? Will doing this achieve the brand forward momentum we aim for or will it take more time/energy/budget and staff than is necessary?

6. Will I use the outcome of this choice as a catalyst to grow and evolve or will I use it to beat myself up? Will I use the results both negative and positive to grow and learn or not?

7. Does this choice empower me or disempower me? Does this activity empower the brand and its stakeholders or not?

8. Is this an act of self-love or self-sabotage? Is this choice/activity for the benefit of the brand or not?

9. Is this an act of faith or an act or fear? Do I have a basis for believing that this will work or am I just trying this out of desperation?

10. Am I choosing from my divinity or am I choosing from my humanity? Am I doing this because my mission is to grow the brand or am I doing it because it’s easier to do this than something else?

Many of the questions come back to the same point: are we making decisions for the benefit of the brand because we believe it’s right or because we’ve always done it this way and it’s easier to just do things the way they’ve always been done than to question? I’ve decided to blow them up and frame them on my wall because whenever I’m doing something it brings me right back to the focus of what

I’m doing, why I’m doing and what I expect to achieve. Just a thought I had.

2 years ago  /  0 notes